"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own." -Ben Sweetland-

Caregiver's Bill of Rights

It is all right to:

BE ANGRY. Turn this energy into positive action. Clean closets, take a walk, talk with someone.

BE FRUSTRATED. Stop the present activity, take a deep breath and begin a different activity.

TAKE TIME ALONE. A favorite chair in a quiet room, a trip to the store or a few hours out with friends.

ASK FOR HELP. Explore family, friends, and local agencies for resource services. Most docotor's offices and clergy can make referrals.

TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT. Relax, you are doing the best you can.

RECOGNIZE YOUR LIMITS. You are a valuable person. Take care of yourself, too.

MAKE MISTAKES. No one is perfect. This is how we learn.

GRIEVE. This is a normal response to loss. You may be sad over the loss of the way things used to be.

LAUGH AND LOVE. It may seem out of place, but your capacity to feel is not gone and can occur unexpectedly.

HOPE. Tomorrow, the day may go smoother, a friend will call, a cure may be found.

By the year 2030, an estimated 20 percent of the U.S. population will be 65 or older. As the American population ages, a growing number of people will be serving as caregivers for family members affected by dementia and other types of functional impairments.



"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." -Lou Holtz-

I love statistics. I think putting a number on something puts it into perspective for me....and it is all about me

These statistics are about caregivers in general, not specific to dementia related illnesses.

1) 77% of caregivers are female.

2) Average age of caregivers: 58 years old; 32% of caregivers are 65 years of age or older.

3) 78% of care recipients lived at home with a spouse or relative.

4) 47% of those caregivers under the age 65 worked (full time 33%; part-time 14%)

5) Of those who had been in the labor force under the age of 65, 10% had quit their jobs to give care. Another 11% reduced their work hours.

6) 43% showed clinically significant depressive symptoms. 56% report feeling "anxiety or depression" within the last six months.

7) 79% of those responding said the patient could not be left alone.

8) 63% are unable to perform 3 to 5 activities of daily living. (ADL's are things like showering, eating, toileting, dressing.) 56% are incontinent.

9) 56% of family caregivers had annual household incomes of under $40,000. (2005 dollars)

10) Average number of hours caregivers provide care: 84 hours a week..the equivalent to 2 full time jobs.

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
-Luciano de Crescenzo-

Every Wednesday morning I arrive at work to the sweet smell of something yummy baking. The hostess arrives early to get the muffins started.

About 9:30, Jack an 80 year old, stout man grabs the cart from the kitchen the wicker basket from the storage room and begins to bag the enormous muffins into baggies to sell. Jack was a military man and ran several grocery stores all over the world on military bases.

About 9:45 we remind everyone, again, it's Muffin Day and a few people begin to stream into the inside garden.

By 10:00 our group has formed. This past Wednesday Elsie and Robbie joined us. Both of these sweet, precious ladies came to us about a year ago. They are inseparable. They walk around the house, holding hands and sharing their thoughts. They have meaningful discussions with each other and although they are on different subjects find total comfort in sharing their days.

Emily joined us. Emily had a stroke a few years ago. She is in her early 90's, a large, jovial lady. Her stroke has made her unable to communicate verbally, but believe me.....if Emily wants something you know exactly what it is!! She is one of my favorite people. I know if I tell her something, it stays in her thoughts. I always wonder if she really has dementia, she is as sharp as a tack...but on paper she has to because I couldn't keep her in my world if she doesn't.

Vealla and Irene also join us. Vealla has only been with us for a couple months. She is also in her 90's, tiny, frail southern lady. She speaks often of her husbands (who have all passed.) She refers to the first one as "that dirty donkey." She was placed with us after she was found several times in her neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning searching for something. Her friend Irene also came to us a couple of months ago. They both have hearing problems and just speak what is on their minds, the other nods in agreement and they laugh and giggle like young girls.

We are set. Elsie and Robbie lead the way, they walk like they are on a mission. Jack follows with the cart, Emily is full speed ahead. I take up the rear with Vealla and Irene...and you know Vealla has her handbag.

We arrive at the old-fashioned ice cream shop on the skilled side of the health plaza. We set up table and chairs... and the fun begins. Jack does all the transactions, Emily gets the chosen purchases, the other ladies take the oppotunity to be social with staff and family who arrive to get our world, (ok maybe not the whole world) famous muffins.

This tradition has carried on for about 2 years now. Every penny we earn on Wednesday's goes directly to the Alzheimer's Association to help find a cure and to educate the public about this devastating disease. Our residents enjoy every minute. They know they are doing something good, they know there is a purpose, they are helping to change the world in their own beautiful way.

I find beauty in every last minute I get to share with these amazing people.