I have worked at my current facility for just over a year now.

Unlike a secure Alzheimer's unit or skilled facility, the assisted living environment sees many couples residing in their little apartments.

In skilled or secure units it is rare they can accommodate a couple whether it be because of the bathroom being connected to the rooms or in a specialized memory support unit both would have to have a diagnosis of some form of dementia.

I have no statistics to go with this post. I am telling this from my experiences.

I feel compelled to share these 3 stories.

"George and Maxine"

I have spoken of George several times. Suffering from severe Alzheimer's disease, he lived with his wife "Maxie" in the facility.

George became seriously ill last Christmas, a stomach virus made him drop 17 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Maxine refused sending him to the hospital, out of fear, out of love....finally he was sent, but it was too late. He died a few days later.

Maxine, who had been healthy for the most part, buried George...about a week later Maxie suffered a stroke and died by the new year.

 "Joe and Addie"

Joe also suffering from moderate Alzheimer's filled his days with taking care of Addie in their one bedroom apartment.

Joe was healthy as a horse taking only 2 medications a day. He doted over Addie. She had had a stroke years earlier and could not communicate verbally or walk because of total paralysis of her left side.

Addie began to decline after a series of infections. She was put on hospice and remained in bed. Joe did not understand this and rang for staff to get her up for meals and to assist her to bed. He was still holding on to the routine he had known for so long.

Addie passed away. Joe spent his days alone in his apartment, slowly he declined. Less that 3 months later Joe was on hospice, and died in the very room his loving wife did a few months before.

"Sam and Mollie"

My most recent story, Sam and Mollie had been married 72 years. They came to the facility a very colorful couple, always bickering and fighting in a loving sort of way.

Sam suffered from dementia. Mollie, in renal failure, was on dialysis 3 times a week.

Sam had a number of falls during his stay, most were trying to assist Mollie with different chores. Mollie was getting weaker. Sam also losing his strength was spending more and more time in his wheelchair.

They were both sent to a skilled facility for rehab. They returned to the facility last week, on Thursday. Mollie passed away Friday, Sam followed late Sunday night, less than 2 days apart.

Love is so strong. All of these couples had been married over 60 years. I have no idea why it happens like this. The world is full of people who have survived losing a spouse.

In a little over a year I have experienced this 3 times.

I can't help but wonder why.

~Nursey~