ROSE BUDS & HANGING BASKETS

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.

Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to
dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are
modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the
grandmother is sitting there with no top on.

The teenager wants to die. She explains to her
grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not
appropriate...

The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can
show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets.

Please take the time to read this, it is a look at the way our elderly must feel as their independence is taken away and their life is reviewed. They are people with real feelings and a lifetime of memories.

Who is really inside?

When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a hospital in England, it appeared she had left nothing of value.

The nurse, packing up her possessions, found this poem. The quality so impressed the staff that copies were distributed to all the nurses in the hospital.

This poem then later appeared in the Christmas edition of "Beacon House News," a magazine of the Northern Ireland Mental Health Association. This was the Lady's bequest for posterity.

What do you see nurse,
What do you see?
What are you thinking
When you look at me?
A crabby old woman,
Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit
With far away eyes.

Who dribbles her food
And makes no reply;
Then you say in a loud voice,
"I do wish you'd try."
Who seems not to notice
The things that you do,
And forever is losing
A stocking or shoe.



Unresisting or not,
Lets you do as you will;
With bathing or feeding,
The long day to fill.
Is that what you're thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes nurse,
You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am,
As I sit here so still,
As I move at your bidding,
As I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten ...
With a father and mother,
And brothers and sisters
Who love one another.



A girl of sixteen,
With wings on her feet;
Dreaming that soon,
A lover she'll meet.



A bride soon at twenty ...
My heart gives a leap;
Remembering the vows
That I promised to keep.



At twenty-five,
I have young of my own,
Who need me to build
A secure and happy home.

A woman of thirty,
My young now grow fast,
Bound together with ties
That forever should last.

At forty, my young ones
Have grown up and gone;
But my man is beside me
To see I don't mourn.

At fifty, once more ...
Babies play 'round my knees;
Again we know children,
My loved ones and me.



Dark days are upon me,
My husband is dead ...
I look at the future,
I shudder with dread;
For my young are all rearing,
Young of their own,
And I think of the years
And the love I have known.

I am an old woman now,
Nature is cruel,
'Tis her jest to make old age
Look like a fool.



The body, it crumbles,
Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone
Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass,
A young girl still dwells,
And now and again
My battered heart swells.

I remember the joys,
I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living Life over again.

I think of the years ...
All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact
That nothing can last.

So open your eyes nurses,
Open and see ...
Not a "Crabbit Old Woman,"
Look closer ... see "Me."

~ Phyllis McCormack ~

What Is Hospice Care?

A person with the diagnosis of dementia can live for several years. There will be a decline in cognitive function but for the most part the body remains healthy. In the late stages, the ability to eat and swallow will be affected as they forget how to manipulate the muscles needed for these tasks. There is a risk of pneumonia as food and liquid are aspirated into the lungs. There sometimes is a drastic weight loss, this is referred to as failure to thrive.

Hospice is a concept began in the centuries-old idea of offering a place of shelter and rest, or "hospitality" to weary and sick travelers on a long journey. Dame Cicely Saunders at St. Christopher's Hospice in London first applied the term "hospice" to specialized care for dying patients in 1967. Today, hospice care provides humane and compassionate care for people in the last phases of incurable disease so that they may live as fully and comfortably as possible.

Hospice care is appropriate when you can no longer benefit from curative treatment and life expectancy is, at most, no longer than 6 months. Hospice will come in , most medications will be discontinued and medications that will provide comfort will be added. There are nurses, ministers, 24 hour staff on-call for family needs which provides support and comfort. They will not judge and the family remains in total control of their loved ones care. Hospice is a God send. These people are trained to make the transition not just for the person suffering from an incurable disease, they offer support and strength to the families and help them come to terms with the loss. Hospice follows up with the family, in some cases years after their loved one has passed. These people are Angels.

My thoughts.

Everyone should have a living will with specific directions. No one with a diagnosis of dementia should be a full code status (CPR). Let them take their ticket out in peace. No heroic measures such as feeding tubes should even be considered. Always ask yourself, what would they have wanted.

My first year as a nurse in the Skilled Nursing Facility I took care of a lady named Emma. Emma was in the final stages of her Alzheimer's disease and she was also a diabetic. Her family insisted on having a feeding tube placed to prolong her life. You would think with knowing exactly what she was consuming they could control her diabetes. Not so. Emma was poked at least 8 times daily for blood sugar checks and insulin injections. She stayed in bed. Her feet became infected as part of her diabetes. They turned black, the color of black licorice. I would change her dressing every night. The smell from her feet invaded the whole wing. They were literally rotting off. As they worsened and the blackness spread to her ankles there were times when I removed the gauze and toes came with it. Think of quality of life, dignity, no suffering. Hospice provides that.

Would Emma have made the same choices as her family did??

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not walking on water or thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black curious eyes of a child--our own two eyes. All is a miracle."

-Thich Nhat Hanh-

I sit here sipping my delightful snickerdoodle coffee, with the french vanilla creamer knowing that in less than 2 hours I will be back at work. A place that used to give me such a sense of belonging, my comfort zone if you will. I took a long weekend to get things back on track, as I have become weary.

I am an advocate for my resident's with dementia. I look out for their well-being, not only medically, but I am responsible for who I let into their lives...by this I mean staff members and people I choose to let into their world.

I am exhausted. Although I am the Director of the facility I answer to people above me, people who really have no concept of the care I strive to provide. I answer to business people...people who are motivated by money. The bottom line. Happiness, quality care, compassion does not really enter into it unless the numbers are in the black and every bed is full.

My staff members, for the most part are needy. They whine, they bitch, their work habits leave a lot to be desired. They call me for direction 24/7. They have been given all the education they need to do their jobs but me doing it for them is a lot easier. No one will make a decision, no one will step up. The burden increases as I get no rest.

I will meet with my supervisor at 3:30 today. I will get reamed for things that happened in my absence. I will be put under the microscope and made to feel incompetent, worthless, and shame. I will go back to my desk and sigh, then, I will gather my thoughts and visit my residents. I will receive smiles and hugs. I will see family members and offer them a kind word, support, a laugh, we'll catch up on life things as I know them all, personally.

The 3:30 meeting will fade into the past and I will become myself again. Caring, fun, supporting, smart, out-going, and above all an exceptional nurse.

I know I am doing my best.