"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
-Luciano de Crescenzo-

Every Wednesday morning I arrive at work to the sweet smell of something yummy baking. The hostess arrives early to get the muffins started.

About 9:30, Jack an 80 year old, stout man grabs the cart from the kitchen the wicker basket from the storage room and begins to bag the enormous muffins into baggies to sell. Jack was a military man and ran several grocery stores all over the world on military bases.

About 9:45 we remind everyone, again, it's Muffin Day and a few people begin to stream into the inside garden.

By 10:00 our group has formed. This past Wednesday Elsie and Robbie joined us. Both of these sweet, precious ladies came to us about a year ago. They are inseparable. They walk around the house, holding hands and sharing their thoughts. They have meaningful discussions with each other and although they are on different subjects find total comfort in sharing their days.

Emily joined us. Emily had a stroke a few years ago. She is in her early 90's, a large, jovial lady. Her stroke has made her unable to communicate verbally, but believe me.....if Emily wants something you know exactly what it is!! She is one of my favorite people. I know if I tell her something, it stays in her thoughts. I always wonder if she really has dementia, she is as sharp as a tack...but on paper she has to because I couldn't keep her in my world if she doesn't.

Vealla and Irene also join us. Vealla has only been with us for a couple months. She is also in her 90's, tiny, frail southern lady. She speaks often of her husbands (who have all passed.) She refers to the first one as "that dirty donkey." She was placed with us after she was found several times in her neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning searching for something. Her friend Irene also came to us a couple of months ago. They both have hearing problems and just speak what is on their minds, the other nods in agreement and they laugh and giggle like young girls.

We are set. Elsie and Robbie lead the way, they walk like they are on a mission. Jack follows with the cart, Emily is full speed ahead. I take up the rear with Vealla and Irene...and you know Vealla has her handbag.

We arrive at the old-fashioned ice cream shop on the skilled side of the health plaza. We set up table and chairs... and the fun begins. Jack does all the transactions, Emily gets the chosen purchases, the other ladies take the oppotunity to be social with staff and family who arrive to get our world, (ok maybe not the whole world) famous muffins.

This tradition has carried on for about 2 years now. Every penny we earn on Wednesday's goes directly to the Alzheimer's Association to help find a cure and to educate the public about this devastating disease. Our residents enjoy every minute. They know they are doing something good, they know there is a purpose, they are helping to change the world in their own beautiful way.

I find beauty in every last minute I get to share with these amazing people.

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made of layers, cells, and constellations.
-Anais Nin-

On this day we remember all who have passed, rejoice in their lives and how they touched our hearts. We share a moment of silence for the souls we miss terribly.

Today was one of the most heart-wrenching days I have had. I little background on my sadness:
The cost to stay in an assisted living facility that focuses on dementia is appx. $3,000 to $4,000 a month in the midwest... give or take. That includes everything but pharmacy bills.
The elderly people needing these types of services usually sell their homes, liquidate all of their assests, put it all in an account for their family to manage for them. A Power Of Attorney.
They may have only a bed, dresser, and few trinkets to show for their lifetime of hard work, sacrifices, and struggles, but they will get quality personalized care.
A person with Alzheimer's disease can live from 3-10 years.. we'll say 6 years for an average.
That is $288,000! Over a quarter of a million dollars!!
Then... they are out of cash, what next, what about the elderly that may beat the averages and the odds and live to the 10 years or even past.
The facility will say, "thank you very much for your quarter of a million but we have no available beds for poor people." Even if the facility still is the most appropriate placement, even if moving them may set them back, confuse them, cause them great anxiety.
THEN... to move to another facility you have to have at least a few months of private pay before they will accept you, another $12,000 and that is being kind, most require 18 months to 2 years private pay.

I understand business, I know that we all have to earn a living. It pains me to feel as if vulernable souls, our elderly, can be so disposable.

Today, I am not so proud of what I do.

As a nurse, part of my job is to educate. I am always amazed at families who are taking care of loved ones with dementia but are not quite sure what that all means.

Dementia is NOT a diagnosis. It is a clinical term, a group of symptoms associated with the loss of brain function as a side affect of mental of physical illness. Example: If you go to the Doctor because you hurt, your symptom would be pain. Pain is not a diagnosis and you would not leave his office until you knew the cause of the pain, and more importantly, how to treat it. With dementia there is a cause and some types can be treated. Most are "managed" with medication to slow the disease process.

Less than 10% of dementias are reversible. Dementia resulting from depression, low levels of thyroid hormone, niacin and vitamin B12 deficiencies can often be reversed.

Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia followed by vascular or multi-infarct dementia.

Alois Alzheimer was born June 14th, 1864 in Germany. In 1901 he studied a 51 year old woman Auguste D. who he cared for for 4 years in the asylum in Frankfurt am Main where he was a medical officer. When Auguste D. died in 1905 an autopsy of her brain found threadlike spindle-shaped objects, her brain had shriveled, and the neurons had disappeared. In 1906 he gave a lecture about his findings which he identified an unusual disease of the cerebral cortex. Surprisingly, diagnosis today is generally based on the same methods used in 1906. Dr. Alzheimer died December 19th, 1915 of endocarditis (heart valve infection) and kidney failure at the age of 51. Odd trivia: Dr. Alzheimer's doctoral thesis was done on earwax glands.