I came to Blogstream to share my thoughts. Mostly about my work, but as time went on, I found friends. I share the things that happen in my life. Some good, some bad. I find it easy to be me and it has opened my eyes to many things.

 

   

 

 This was the start of "Day in the Life of Dementia"

 

My First Blog Post- AlzNurse929

I am a nurse. I deal daily with emotions, sickness, devastation, and the reality of incurable diseases of the brain. It is a slow decline of a persons mind and personality. Family members are on-lookers as the disease takes their mom or dad or sister or aunt and turns them into someone that they do not recognize, and the irony is...their mom or dad or sister or aunt no longer recognizes them, literally.

In these days of dementia there are shining moments, "Window Moments," when out of blue, a person suffering from Alzheimer's or some form of dementia will return for a brief moment and share a memory or a feeling.

These moments are amazing.

Years ago, I sat bedside of a frail woman named Olga suffering from end stage Alzheimer's Disease. Olga was awake, she was so thin. She had not spoken a lot in the past few months and her body was tired. I brought her vanilla ice cream and begin to slowly feed her tiny bites. I was a night shift nurse it had to be 2 a.m.

Olga began to speak, "I loved to dance," she said, "I was so beautiful and I was happy." "We danced every Saturday night, remember?"

 I listened to Olga relive her youth she smiled and giggled as a young girl would. Olga's "Window Moment" lasted nearly 1 hour. I was honored to have shared it with her. Olga passed away less than a month after our 2 a.m. ice cream.

I felt she was dancing again and she left me with a sense of serenity.

I will always remember her.

 

 For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,

A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

Beautiful

 

 Hook arrived home today with the newest member of our family!!

Meet Chaps!!

 

 

 

 From behind she looks like she's wearing a little pair of white Chaps.

She's no bigger than a pop can, but I can feel she's going to be a mound of TROUBLE!!

 

 

 

Fatty and Mowe aren't impressed, I hope they"ll get over it!!

 

 

Have a great weekend!

Joy and Hook

 "Nina"

Nina suffers from dementia and is on hospice care. Which means the evenings I spend with her will be ending soon.

Every night we go though the same routine. With dementia that means her comfort zone. She does not know my name. She does know my approach and "our song."

Nina doesn't like to get undressed for the night. I walk into her room I burst into song...."When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie..." and Nina finishes..."That's Amonia" and giggles like a school girl..she is sassy!!

We sing, and the nightgown is on in a flash.

Then it's time for her pill.

I put the tiny white pill in her hand and she dramatically tells me this poem:

 

Little pill in my hand,

When I swallow you,

Do you know where you are going?

And when you get there, do you know what to do?

 

I have heard this poem over hundred times, but I smile at Nina and say, "That is so beautiful," like it is the first time it had ever crossed her lips.

I tuck her into bed and she grabs my hand.

"You have a pleasant evening here, while I sleep".... and leans forward and whispers..."I'll see you in the morning."

I leave the room and smile. Yes, I know, over 100 times I've went through the same routine of the song, the poem, and the "I'll see you in the morning."

I am so thankful I can do this.

 I am so relieved when Nina sees another morning and we can sing "our song."

 Just one more time.

 "George"

Friday October 27th, 2006. 4:45 a.m.

My co-worker Mel and I were ending our shift. Tidying up the place, doing last minute chores. Mel, a cute little oriental girl, grabbed the trash and headed out the side door.

I was in the med room finishing up with charting, pills, just the same old routine.

A commotion in the lobby.

 Mel was speaking a mile a minute, loudly, with her strong accent the words I understood...GEORGE, COLD, and CAR.

As I walked toward the lobby my heart started beating faster. You know that feeling when something just isn't right.

I saw them as I turned the corner. Mel and George standing by the fireplace. Mel was still ranting. George was staring at her, frustrated and kept repeating.."I have to find my car."

"George" has severe Alzheimer's disease.

Mel's ranting, to him, was like having a radio station tuned in a little off. Some words come through but it is a jumbled mess. He was reading body language which probably looked like anger. To top his off, his incredible need to find his car, right then, was not being met.

I gathered my thoughts..opened my arms, put on my biggest smile...

"George!! I have been looking for you!!"

He smiled, reached his hand towards me, and said, "Honey, I have to find my car."

Ok George, I will help you.

Mel had found George in the parking lot of the facility when she went to take out the trash. I have no idea how long he had been out there. Once you leave the facility after 10 p.m., the doors are locked there is no way to get back in unless you press the doorbell and alert the staff. George would have never known to do that.

This could have been a tragedy, I know all too well as my Grandfather did the same thing years ago and was lost in the woods of northern Wisconsin overnight after leaving the facility he was in. He lived through the ordeal, but never walked again.

George is well. I talked to him gently. Using short, direct sentences that would not get jumbled. My body language was caring as I held his hand and listened. We even went back outside to check,  just one more time, for his car.

 

You can't argue or reason with Alzheimer's disease.

It's a losing battle.

You just have to care.

My Grandfather.

Lost the battle, and died of  complications related to Alzheimer's disease.

 

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

 -M.Scott Peck-

 

I go on each day, this quote is my life in a nutshell.

I am searching.

I don't know what it is. I sleep. I know everyone sleeps, I sleep from 12 to 15 hours a day. Even the most simple of tasks like grocery shopping or running errands exhausts me.

I don't feel sad. I wouldn't call it depression. My sleep, as my therapist and primary Dr. described it, is my way to "escape."

 

What am I escaping from? I don't have the answers.

 

My life is better than most, I have everything I need or want.

So I go on, this cycle of sleep, work, and my time on "The Stream."

I hope it will get better soon.

I hope I will get better soon.